Hello Guys,
It is regretful for me to announce but my father has clear signs that he is severely depressed in addition to his autism which makes him very dangerous for him to live on his own. In one of the emails he has sent to me, he has mentioned about “living independently” meaning. However, I have been close allies with my Mother for at least 3 years right now and I have concerns she has similar problems and doesn’t really want to be alone, since the majority of my father’s time has been spent alone and has been very rude to the entire family.
My father, Hua has been depressed for at least around 4-5 years now, saying that he is retired when in reality, he gave up job searching to retire and telling my family members to live “indepently” is possibly the worst and the most negative advice that has come out of my father’s neglectful mouth, telling us to live on our own for the rest of our lives without support from our friends.
What I have found out is when he moved to Cleveland, Ohio, the problem actually became worse because of how dangerous the city he was living in (due to the high crime rate). I am not sure if he has traumatic experience being there outside of being at work.
I have asked him to seek help one point in 2011, even when he lost his job at Dana-Farber Medical Center in January of that same year. He said he was laid-off from the job and wanted to tell our friends and classmates that he was on vacation, but realizing the downward path he has been taking he is hiding the truth to figure out why he got let go of a job he was working at such as working at Dana-Farber Medical Center in Jan 2011, and again from a job at Case Western Reserve University in Late Fall/Early Winter 2016 with the same reason why he left the job.
Not much has been known about his mental past, but he became independent when he was 16 years old for unknown reasons. Reading his letter to me and my sister in regards to his life in the USA has been a struggle for him. For him, his dream was to become a doctor ever since he graduated from college in China (or at least that is what I thought). From here he has struggled throughout numerous jobs in numerous fields. He was tormented due to the fact he didn’t have good english since the day he has moved to the United States. My assumption is when he moved to the United States, I felt he might have been bullied by some of his coworkers at his first job and had to work at various other places and possibly the same thing happened to him. Or it could’ve been the fact that he just came here and was tormented in America because he couldn’t speak good english.
When he went to college in the mid to late 1990s at the University of Vermont, he wanted to get a Ph D in some field of science and worked at Harvard Medical School in 2007. It was difficult for him to keep his next two jobs at Dana Farber in Boston and Case Western in Cleveland, OH and his unacceptable behavior and his depression might have played a role in what he is today.
When I graduated from college around Mid-2018. Hua talked to me about going to career center at University of Massachusetts Lowell. At first he was very helpful talking to me about it, but became aggressive and impatient during dinnertime on May 25, 2018. He started yelling at me that I didn’t go to Career Center and tried to find a way to mitigate the situation. I thought throwing a drink would calm him down, but that was not true and got into an altercation between each other. The police came and we tried to work things out between each other per the police request later that night. However, his aggressive nature continued and didn’t want to listen to me despite the fact what his behavior happened at home was extremely unacceptable.
The conflict continued overtime with my family, including scaring my sister and running away from my home at least twice in 2018. He kept running away from his problems from aggression by lying and putting some of my family members in a “fight or flight” situation which sometimes end in consequences. I did not know he had Autism in addition to his depression until Summer 2020 and it changed in ways I could approach him. The Covid-19 situation across the globe has made him much worse and make him mentally damaged.
Going back to the letter he has sent me, I asked myself “Why in the world he didn’t get help in the past? Could I have went back in time and saved his tormented and damaged life?” He only made himself more weak in this kind of position to say his English is not good and being tormented in America, not pursuing a career as a doctor (like he was in China, instead changing careers overtime to being a scientist, to being a professor) and that, most likely played a factor in his mental health decline. I felt he was like becoming another Seung-hui Cho, the Virginia Tech mass murder who was writing negative and disturbing plays, yet film and wrote a very sinister and evil manifesto targeting the college kids who he thought they were rich, changed majors in College (from something business or technology related to English), similarly with my father writing negative and being aggressive with my family members and changing careers overtime.
Recently this month, he would pass out on the couch at around 12:30pm in the afternoon on several occasions.
Now with him demanding money, most recently due to the financial situation he is in, I have told him countless times to find a job in addition to getting personal help for his mental health. I know he has crossed the line with his mentally damaged mind. He has threatened me and my mom for myself to see a psychiatrist in order for him to get Social Security Disability benefits under my name.
In my personal experience, I had a very hard Freshman year with depression. I went through the same situation, where I was depressed based on jealousy with relationships (similar to that of Elliot Rodger), the constant negative energy I was bringing to the public environment and ended up harassing and threatning a former roommate and was taken to a hospital for a mental evaluation.
I am hoping he gets personal help soon, gets himself mentually evaluated, and stop this madness. Myself, my mom, and my sister to move on in my life with my future and the people I love to care about, but not without resolving an ongoing issue in my family with my father who has been delusional about his mental health saying it is everyone else's problem but him. If anyone requests any letter written from and audio or videos recordings with him, please contact me at 978-881-8469 or email me at alanfung13@gmail.com.
Mental Health and Depression are major problems in America, and people like Hua Fung, Seung-Hui Cho and Elliot Rodger are the reasons why we need better support for Mental Health in America including Depression. And to the schools out there and the workplaces who have people bullying, harassing, or retaliating just because of the way they act and how bad their language is, this needs to stop. Bullying them will make it worse and will create more criminals because of their way they are being tormented by the original perpetrators.
Regards,
Alan Fung
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